Is fear holding you back from living your fullest life and being truly self-expressed? Put yourself in the shoes of the you who’s already lived your dream and write out the answers to the following:
1. Is the insecurity you’re defending worth the dream you’ll never realize? or the love you’ll never venture? or the joy you’ll never feel?
2. Will the blunder matter in 10 years? Or 10 weeks? Or 10 days? Or 10 minutes?
3. Can you be happy being anything less than who you really are?
4. Now Do. The Thing. You Fear.
It’s beginning to feel as though the subject matter of these prompts is so inter-related that I often feel like I’m being repetitious. But, in reality, I’m simply following the prompts given. I made a commitment to do this, so here I am again.
As mentioned in previous blog entries, at my age (63) I’m lucky enough to have worked through most of these issues. For that, I am grateful. Many people never find resolution to some of their problems.
Words in Question 1 above: “insecurity” – “dream unrealized” – “love never ventured” – “joy not felt” ----
I can relate to all of this from my memories of years ago. I’ve felt very insecure in my past. I’ve dreamed many a dream that I never thought would materialize. I’ve believed that I’d never feel joy. I’d find it in brief encounters, but never seemed to be lasting, so I thought it would never be a forever feeling for me. I cannot answer if the insecurity I defended was worth the dream I’d never realize, because once I grew from that place of self-doubt and uncertainty, the dream was realized. Was the dream realized because I gained strength and self-confidence, beyond my awkwardness and caution? Or, would the dream have been realized anyway, because it was the right time?
With regards to “love not ventured”, that’s another story. For many years my journey was an endless search for love. I found it a couple times and there were the times I “thought” I had found it. But, there are different types of love and different stages of love. It wasn’t until fourteen years ago, just when I had given up and had become content to be alone with myself that the true love I’d been seeking had finally come into my life. My Prince Charming – my Mr. Right – my Soulmate – he is all of these and more. If I had not drifted the miles I traveled during the previous thirty-something years, before connecting with him, it’s possible my heart and soul would not have been ready for our relationship. Timing is a key factor in so many parts of our lives.
So, back to the questions asked in this prompt –
Will the blunder matter in 10 years? Or 10 weeks? Or 10 days? Or 10 minutes?
I firmly believe that whatever mistakes we think we made will not be of significant importance later. It absolutely does not matter if it’s been 10 years, 10 weeks, 10 days or 10 minutes.
My clarification for my beliefs are as follows ~
a. Mistakes, as such, do not exist. A mistake is a misconception in our thoughts. Labeling what we’ve done as “mistakes” gives us the impression and feeling of failure. Chapters in our life are never a failure. Oh, there may be something that our perception tells us we could have done better, or differently; but the fact is that it’s exactly what was done. Ultimately, what we say or do is our choice. It is what it is. Accept it. Understand that it is a piece of the puzzle that creates the genuine person we are right now. That cannot be an error, can it? The puzzle would not be complete without all the pieces.
b. Once an action is completed, it’s finished; and is no longer in the NOW moment. It moves into the past. Living in the past, focusing on what we did in the past (other than special memories, or things for which we should make amends), will only create suffering. “Today is a gift, and that’s why it’s called the present.”
c. Once an act is achieved, a battle fought, words spoken, a secret confided, amends declared, an emotion felt, a feeling expressed, tears shed, etc etc etc (you get the idea); it is then that, even in the next 10 seconds and regardless of the intensity of the act, it doesn’t matter, because it cannot be changed. Place it safely into the past, continuing to move forward, by being mindful in each NOW present moment.
Can you be happy being anything less than who you really are?
My reply to this is simply “no”. When I reflect back into the history of my life, being honest with myself, I remember the times when I was not being my own genuine authentic self. It was those stages of my life when I was the most miserable. And, those times when I have been true to myself, being exactly who I am, are the pieces of my life when I am the happiest. It’s then I feel most blessed.
Question 4, which is not really a question, but a statement:
Now Do. The Thing. You Fear.
My only reply is that this is a powerful statement to keep in mind. I intend to do just that. As the title to Susan Jeffers book, “Feel the Fear, and Do it Anyway”. When we practice this, there is nothing to fear. This makes “Now Doing. The Thing. You Fear” conceivable and promising.
I once heard that FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real.
F – False
E – Evidence
A – Appearing
R – Real
Sounds logical; if/when we realize that,
“fear is simply an illusion created within the depths of our imagination” (that’s one of my own personal quotes)
NOW respectfully progress and grow, be your true authentic self, follow your heart, knowing there are no “mistakes” (but only experience)